Ezekiel and My Heart



When I painted on my pallet table on our deck I had no idea how seeing this heart would touch me every morning. Until now, that is...

Friends, it's been a journey this past month. We have been given a gift of time with our loved ones, at least that's how I'm choosing to see this mess. Don't get me wrong, it's been hard, fun, challenging, isolating and all the in between....which is the inspiration behind this blog. If I'm honest, I wasn't, and I'm sure you weren't, prepared for all the emotions we would feel, experience, be burdened with and endure. Nor was I ready to fight a spiritual battle. Yet, here I am...doing just that.  

It's befuddling to me how sneaky Satan can be and more so, how deceptive our hearts can be when we aren't tending them. Which leads me to a favorite verse, Esk. 36:26, "and I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart." Sigh. What a promise. 

Ezekiel means "God strengthens," a name appropriate for his mission, don't ya think? While I haven't done a full study on Ezekiel I do know that God wanted His people to know they couldn't escape the consequences of their sin. He wanted them to know His mercy was on the other side of their denial. Same message for us... as well as if we've been broken by our failures. God can rebuild our life, that I know. 

I can relate to the people's issues in Ezekiel. Sin separates us from God and leads to destruction. Period. No gray. Not that Garrett and I have been in active sin this month but that our hearts were chasing comfort in areas not conducive to God's will. Relate? I wasn't tending my heart the way I have before and was blindsided with a battle. Stupid. I was angry. I was sad. Then, I suited up. I'm ready for battle because this time I'm taking it to the feet of Jesus. I'm also teaching my son how to fight this battle. I know, you know, the only one who can ever win these.... God. Any and every stronghold can be defeated when we are open to God, when we address the sin, when we ask for help. Which is what I think Ezekiel was attempting to teach the people.

We gain recovery from confrontation, hope in failure, believing God is always available, and that no situation is hopeless. Ezekiel confronted the Jews with the truth of their sins. Which we have to do on a daily basis. If we can't see them, we keep doing them, which in turn leaves us in a stronghold. Thank God, for grace. I'm sure there are times we feel like the exiles in Babylon. I'm sure they felt overwhelmed and helpless much like I do right now. But God entered, as He always does and transformed their situation to His glory. 

My heart on the deck. It looks colorful but also has some darkness to it... yuck! I wasn't prepared to examine my heart, my thoughts, etc during this time but, I'm sadly grateful. I have cried a lot. I have seen my heart for where it is right noe and it's weary.  It's in a rush. It wants happiness,  we are happy, but it wants companionship. It wants it's turn in life to have what God designed. It also is hungry. I know.... a heart hungry? It wants more. I don't think in a bad way as much as it's getting anxious for promises God has made. Lastly, it's a tad bitter. Bitter at someone. Which probably means it just hurts. It hasn't forgiven the way it thought it had. It's been carrying around this suitcase for 6 years worth of feelings for this person. The past has a funny way of showing up when you seem to be doing alright. It's tired now. So, I'm forced AGAIN to hit my knees. To give it over to the One who heals and to the One who also lovingly puts me back in my place. 

Mostly, this heart on my deck, got me in my Bible today, the church sanctuary several times yesterday, and walking through my home talking to God. All the things I needed. It reminded me that He is All I need despite what my heart says AND His timing is impeccable. Friendships, jobs, relationships, my heart being revealed, my tasks, conversations... All those things come only when it's His will and with confirmation. 

I'll find comfort in that this evening. 




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December 3, 2022 at 5:10 PM
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