Dedicated to: Single Momma's (or full-time single Dad's.) Here's to our reality and strength!

2 Corinthians 12:9

And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 

To begin, let me say that I have no earthly idea how we do what we do. Also, most of us (including any single full-time dad's) never asked nor dreamt of our reality. At some point, we all had visions of creating and being in a family which somehow became shattered. That said, we had a part in our shattered vision whether it was the decision of falling into a swoon of sweet talk, simple lust or living in sin ourselves which led to poor decision making. 

However, here's what we didn't choose. 

. The constant fight for a place in this world. 

. The jobs we've lost due to sick kiddos, lack of daycare or the lack to provide funds for daycare, weekend hours that are required or the demand we put our job first and our child/children last.

. The looks of pity. 

. The silent but obvious judgement. 

. The isolation.

. The constant worry. 

. The lack of opportunity.

. The demand to work several jobs just to make ends meet.
. A failing system that keeps us in a spot of struggle and not growth. 

I'm sure I'm missing some items on this list. While today is different than ten years ago, it's the same. A few of these areas have come far such as daycare yet, still so much room to grow. 

In my personal situation, I'm surrounded by an army of people who love us which we are grateful for! With that comes a lot of support but also a lot of misunderstandings, lack of knowledge, lack of truly understanding. For us single moms, we carry our own lack of knowledge and understanding towards friends who are in a marriage, who have a whole different type of support. I'm left with feeling alone yet telling myself over and over again that I'm not alone, I have friends. Here's the thing, 

We have God. We have our child/children. We know that. But when it's 10 in the morning and we have to leave our job to pick our kid up because we don't have a spouse or family (for some of us) we leave knowing our child needs us and also thinking how am I going to make these hours up? When its Thursday and you need help with your child after school and you call Susie who said she'd help and she doesn't pick up the phone or can't you're left again depending on yourself. When it's 9:00 pm on Tuesday and your humans are in bed you walk to your couch and plop down and then look around. You hear silence. You have no one to run your day by, to hug, to cry with, to explain an idea too, you have you and God. That's when you  break down. You fall to the floor and cry to the only person who always answers His phone. On a random Wednesday when you are at lunch paying some bills and realize you have to find another part time job to ensure groceries for you and your human you muster up courage to search for one and for strength to maintain a schedule that will allow it and holding back tears during the process. When you're at Bible Study to grow you feel foreign because your life and trials are so different and foreign to the people you're surrounded with. You gain friendships, support and love from people but unfortunately, they are humans. They will fail you. They will be unable to help. They will be harsh. They will look upon you with sadness. So you learn to do it all with God's help. You'll be told more than you count that others are here for you and you'll quickly learn that is not the case which then strengthens your dependence upon yourself and God. 

You will be turned down jobs or not even considered because you had a few more than most. You'll have to put education on the back burner until your situation is stable enough with support that you can accomplish it. You may work so many jobs that you don't receive benefits (which is good, we know we are okay without it) most of our jobs won't offer insurance with part-time hours so inevitably if you become sick you must persevere through it the best you can without making others sick. 

My point here is that we are strong. We are fighters. We understand a level of brokenness that many may not survive. We wake up every day knowing we are a hero to a child who has no clue how we do what we do, they just know we do. They know we are there more than anyone else.

For those not in this situation be compassionate, loving and stable. If it weren't for the few stable individuals in my life, I may not have grown. As believers coming alongside troubled humans is our job, no matter what they look like or it looks like to you. 

I'm here to say that with making right decisions, God, and perseverance we can make it. While the world may not be so forgiving of our situation and the demands that come along with that, our God is and because He is....

We somehow have enough strength to squeeze three jobs in,

We always have food,

When we cry at 9pm or Midnight He meets us on the floor,

When we have no clue how we are going to pay rent someone calls in and we get extra hours,

When we are so tired and drained He sends a hug from our child,

When we feel like no one gets it, He reminds us He knows brokenness,

When we walk down the street because our car broke down, He walks with us,

When our chin is down, He raises it,

When you hold back tears cashing change in for tennis shoes on your child's first day of school, He honors our dedication, our right decisions and our reliance on Him, 

He weeds people out of our way who are harmful,

He holds us at lunch when we are in our car breaking down because it's all too much,

When Susie doesn't answer her phone, He whispers I have you, call me

You may walk alone for awhile and you may have to do it ALL for awhile and it will suck. You will feel so many emotions. People will let you down in so many ways. It's during all this, He is teaching us dependence on Him, strength, faith and so much more.  Eventually, you'll come out of the fog a survivor and you will be a cheerleader for another single mom with tears in her eyes. 

And then you'll understand, that's why. 

So, here's to you single momma's. You are stronger than you'll ever know with a God even stronger who will never,ever fail you. I can't begin to fathom why I was entrusted with such a demanding, important job in raising Garrett alone but I will tell you, it's the best job I know I will ever have and I would not change it for a single second. It's one of my biggest blessings. 

While we have thought at times we need to just give up, while some have given up on us, while some of us have lost family or have been banished just know God never will, He will replace all those with a love that never dies.

Cheers to you 🤗💕