Driving The Bus



Lack of peace.
Anxiety risen.
Stress level raised.
Lack of motivation.
Fear.
Common sense missing.
A tad bit of frustration. Who am I kidding? A lot of it!
The list goes on...

I know. You may be asking, where is this going? What does this have to do with driving a bus?

Well, everything. Yes. Everything.

You see, when I get in the bus and start driving and attempting to control life I often run into curbs, miss stop signs, fail slowing down, ignore maintenance in a timely manner... You do get the picture, right? I must remind you that my heart during this process means well and also means no harm, yet it happens ever so subtly.

The past few weeks I've been highly disturbed. That feeling prompted a search team to look high and low for the answer. Prayed. Cried. Secluded myself. Prayed again. Rinse, repeat. Of course in these situations when the answer does come, it arrives like a swinging sledgehammer.

Mondays, my son and I attend an AA meeting in our small town. During that time a passage was read about acceptance which always puts things in perspective for me. Then,

Wham! There it was the dreadful, swinging sledgehammer.

And what I heard, " All these feelings are because YOU are driving the bus, you idiot!"

For the love!

Allow me to break this down:
I was trying to control all situations in my life. I not only wanted the control, I wanted answers now, I wanted to know the outcomes. No wonder I was running into curbs and running stop signs. I was trying to be and do what isn't for me to be doing.

Essentially, I ever so politely kicked God out of the bus. How rude?!

I know better. That same God delivered me from addiction, abuse, lies and much more. He saved me and I had the nerve to take the wheel, again!

Really, Erika?

Since that revelation, one that I'm almost positive all of us go through multiple times, peace entered again. There it is! That calm and assuring feeling that comes from relinquishing control and giving it to God.

Crazy isn't it? Why do we do these things to ourselves?

God is love.

His plan will ALWAYS be the BEST plan.

So, the next time you see me or may think I might be driving the bus, run! No! Please politely ask me to step out and then run!!

With love.

Comments

Unknown said…
God's love is so amazing, everlasting, unconditional, overwhelming, abiding, awesome, redeeming, rescuing, unfathomable, intentional, saving, a love that surpasses words ............... Your thoughts and passion to please Him and want Him to "drive your bus" are precious, Erika!
March 2, 2019 at 5:13 PM
Unknown said…
I often times find myself in the same predicament! I feel overwhelmed, heart-broken, and unable to catch a break. Then....surrender. Sweet, scary surrender. And He shows up every time in such an unfathomable way and I am following Him and singing His praises. And subtly, oh so subtly....I start to take back the wheel. "Thanks for your awesomeness....I'll take it from here." It is so frustrating. I am so thankful for friends and family that gently redirect me back to my Savior. Most of all, I am thankful for God's grace, mercy and immeasurable love.

Thanks for sharing Erika!!
March 2, 2019 at 10:07 PM
Grace Overload said…
Surrender is scary! Thank you for taking time to read and comment. I appreciate the feedback and views. It is always a way to learn and grow and not feel alone!
March 3, 2019 at 8:09 PM
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