Ups, Downs, Life, Sobriety

The fall of humankind is intensely disheartening and exasperating. We can't escape it nor can we turn an eye away; what do we do? For starters, we have to understand we can't face this type of dark without God. We all, well most, know this world was born into sin. I believe this can easily be forgotten as for some unknown reason Christians are held to an extremely high standard - as though we aren't sinners! Let me clear the air, I AM A SINNER - THE BEST OF THE BEST, SO ARE YOU, SO ARE ALL OF US! Please know the only difference here is that as a believer I wholeheartedly believe in repentance, I believe Jesus died for me, you and everyone else to wipe our sins away.  I believe that asking for forgiveness means I am also signing up for learning new behavior, healthier ways of living in this horrible world that has become so, so dark. You see, when I lived in sin (disregarding my God) I never saw an issue with my way of life. Somehow, and only God knows how, He reached me...

2 Corinthians 12:9 And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.  To begin, let me say that I have no earthly idea how we do what we do. Also, most of us (including any single full-time dad's) never asked nor dreamt of our reality. At some point, we all had visions of creating and being in a family which somehow became shattered. That said, we had a part in our shattered vision whether it was the decision of falling into a swoon of sweet talk, simple lust or living in sin ourselves which led to poor decision making.  However, here's what we didn't choose.  . The constant fight for a place in this world.  . The jobs we've lost due to sick kiddos, lack of daycare or the lack to provide funds for daycare, weekend hours that are required or the demand we put our job first and our child/chil...

Does this support the life I'm trying to create? Loaded question... yet, I find myself asking this more and more frequently. I'm almost 35 years old and I have paused to re-evaluate my life on multiple occasions just this year alone. This action has proven itself as foreign as Europe to me. I used to ask myself over and over again why I felt it necessary to question my people, places and things only to answer it this week with one simple word: healthy. I, then, asked myself why this was healthy only to answer that with: God. My desire to be surrounded by those who are inspiring, kind, followers of Jesus, encouraging, strong, honest and God-fearing is strong and because of that growing desire my life has drastically changed in two years. I started to really hone in on how I felt around certain people... would I walk away wanting to become the best version of myself? Would I walk away questioning? Obviously, everyone has bad days so that's always in account - it is...